EXTRACTS FROM ADAM'S DIARY Translated from the original MS.
by Mark Twain
[NOTE.—I translated a portion of this diary some years ago, anda friend of mine printed a few copies in an incomplete form, butthe public never got them. Since then I have deciphered some moreof Adam's hieroglyphics, and think he has now become sufficientlyimportant as a public character to justify this publication.—M. T.]
Monday
This new creature with the long hair is a good deal in the way.It is always hanging around and following me about. I don't likethis; I am not used to company. I wish it would stay with theother animals. Cloudy to-day, wind in the east; think we shallhave rain…. Where did I get that word?… I remember now—the new creature uses it.
Tuesday
Been examining the great waterfall. It is the finest thing on theestate, I think. The new creature calls it Niagara Falls—why,I am sure I do not know. Says it looks like Niagara Falls. Thatis not a reason; it is mere waywardness and imbecility. I get nochance to name anything myself. The new creature names everythingthat comes along, before I can get in a protest. And always thatsame pretext is offered—it looks like the thing. There is thedodo, for instance. Says the moment one looks at it one sees ata glance that it "looks like a dodo." It will have to keep thatname, no doubt. It wearies me to fret about it, and it does nogood, anyway. Dodo! It looks no more like a dodo than I do.
Wednesday
Built me a shelter against the rain, but could not have it tomyself in peace. The new creature intruded. When I tried to putit out it shed water out of the holes it looks with, and wiped itaway with the back of its paws, and made a noise such as some ofthe other animals make when they are in distress. I wish it wouldnot talk; it is always talking. That sounds like a cheap flingat the poor creature, a slur; but I do not mean it so. I have neverheard the human voice before, and any new and strange soundintruding itself here upon the solemn hush of these dreamingsolitudes offends my ear and seems a false note. And this newsound is so close to me; it is right at my shoulder, right at myear, first on one side and then on the other, and I am used onlyto sounds that are more or less distant from me.
Friday
The naming goes recklessly on, in spite of anything I can do. Ihad a very good name for the estate, and it was musical and pretty—GARDEN-OF-EDEN. Privately, I continue to call it that, but notany longer publicly. The new creature says it is all woods androcks and scenery, and therefore has no resemblance to a garden.Says it looks like a park, and does not look like anything but apark. Consequently, without consulting me, it has been new-named—NIAGARA FALLS PARK. This is sufficiently high-handed, it seems tome. And already there is a sign up:
My life is not as happy as it was.
Saturday
The new creature eats too much fruit. We are going to run short,most likely. "We" again—that is its word; mine too, now, fromhearing it so much. Good deal of fog this morning. I do not goout in the fog myself. The new creature does. It goes out inall weathers, and stumps right in with its muddy feet. And talks.It used to be so pleasant and quiet here.
Sunday
Pulled through. This day is getting to be more and more trying.It was selected and set apart last
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